Sheame On Me

Just a place where I let my brain leak out...

Friday, October 19, 2007

Ending the Pretending

wish i'd quit pretending not to be
all the things that you so clearly see
wish i'd quit pretending not to know
everything i've always known

adding to the truth in my life
lessening the interest in time
holding onto not letting go
weakening the fear's stranglehold
happy agent of freedom here

frightened by the wait of my dreams
who i am and who i will be
frozen to this spot on my floor
but every moment i thaw out some more

dripping into puddles of sound
helping the seeds of love abound
never giving up this sunlight
straining ever more towards the sky
only to find we were already high

.: posted by Almost 20 Years Later 12:34 PM

Thursday, September 13, 2007

If none of this is real
why does it hurt so bad
not to be wanted?

.: posted by Almost 20 Years Later 2:19 AM

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

why won't you be here for me
right now, when i'm losing my mind
where are you now, friend
when i'm calling for you
just to listen and say that
you get me.
do you, even get me?
i used to think you did.
now i am sort of wondering if
you just "get" what i have,
and not who i am?
this makes me even sadder,
because i really wanted you
to understand.

.: posted by Almost 20 Years Later 4:22 PM

Monday, March 21, 2005

I can't answer the phone anymore
I don't know what to say
I don't want to hurt you
but I won't watch you hurt yourself.

.: posted by Almost 20 Years Later 9:35 PM

Sunday, March 20, 2005

3/19

why is it that I
let you let me
tear my fragile heart?

why do I need
to believe so badly
that you even care?

don't you know how
much you're missing,
choosing not to see me
the way that I see you.

.: posted by Almost 20 Years Later 12:00 PM

Saturday, March 19, 2005

3/18

I know that they are true
these things that I want to not
believe
the words I fail to tell myself
so I can go on clinging
only to discover, or remember
what I knew
these things I try so
hard to hide from
are truth that
lives in me

.: posted by Almost 20 Years Later 10:57 PM

3/18

how could i just
was this chance?
and watch you
walk away?
you promised you
would never leave
but I knew you
couldn't stay.

it seems to me
the more I cared
and held my breath
in vain
the more you pulled
inside yourself
and swallowed
all your pain

only in my fearless
dreams
where all my life
is played
do I continue
holding on
without feeling
ashamed

.: posted by Almost 20 Years Later 10:48 PM

Thursday, March 17, 2005

fucking crazy ass insane days of my life.....

3/14/2005

there is no fucking way
this can be happening.
and all i can think of
is talking to you.

i don't even know my heart
from my head, and i am
bleeding them both
beyond recognition.

everything is as crazy as
i never once imagined,
how did this ever begin,
and then as soon as
i was hopeful, end?

3/14/2005

i pushed too hard
i know that now
and you didn't even
push back

i hoped for an insight
into your soul
know that it was
like mine

i gave you the one thing
i can't give myself
while i watched you
hand it back to me

i never took it
but i still ran away
now will you run too
or will we both stand staring?